Blah

I been thinking alot lately. And about a lot of things. So many things have changed in the last year. This time last year i thought i was on top of the world, everything was what i thought to be perfect. But soon after my whole world came crashing down around me and there was nothing i could do about it. I should of known something this great could never last. I had it all i had a great boyfriend, the greatest best friends, and my family was perfect. Until a friendship was destroyed, my brother fell terminally ill and my relationship self destructed. Its only now that im picking up the pieces, trying to fix things and dealing with emotions i couldnt deal with at the time. Im still numb towards alot of things, one in perticular. Im not sure if this numbness will last for ever, will i grow to become angry, sad, confussed or frustrated? who knows. But im choosing to push on through the storm, choosing to keep my head high and my options open...

Ive got it!

So time really is the only way too move on from someone or something. I took a weeks holiday on the west coast, took time to clear my head. In that week i realised, that time and being mature is the only way. And its a good way. Im now much happier :) i just wish everybody new that time is the only that heels things!!!

WA

SUNNING IT UP IN BUSSELTON W.A.!!!!!!1

I'm finally free from your evil love spell, i can now do what ever i please!!

Never

I will never forget
I will never regret
I will lve my life
Im not saying im sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again

Time

They say time heels everything, and everythig gets better with time. Everything is suppose to get easier. But how much time? But how long will it be before im completely numb towards you? before i can happily say i dont love you. They always just say time, but they never tell us how long precisely, so we can anticipate the day that someone that meant so much means nothing, and it cant hurt us anymore. How ever as time goes on, we think more about what happened and how we got to the stage of wanting to forget, and it just makes us hurt more there for prolonging the time till numbness comes. Why is that as time goes on, its not getting better or easier, the pain is more every day, i have more questions everyday, i miss you/us more everyday. How could i have prepared myself for this??? was there anyway? maybe i shouldnt have gotten into it in the first place. Is not ever loving the answer??? Therefore we dont have to wait, we dont have to hurt, or learn to trust, wedont get betrayed, and there is no quesdtions and no one to answer to.

"We're smilingbut were close to tears"

"I wont forget what was promised here"

"We are young, we fun free, stay up late, we dont sleep"

"I'm addicted to this universal feeling called life!"

"We make plans to kiss the sun at night"

"I've written every page of my lifes play"

"Tryna hold hese golden years that are flashin by"

"I was born in the 80s with that summertime love"

"And from the highest jumps motherfucker i've jumped"

From my favourite songs!

Why

Why is it that we always seem to hurt the ones closest to us the most? is it because they are closest and we know them best which in turn means we know exactly how to hurt and disappoint them? In disappointing and hurting them we always end up disappointing and hurting ourselves too. I know i've done many things to many people i love that i'd take back in an instant, but i cant. Sometimes hurting someone can make a relationship stronger or it can completely tare it apart. From my experiences both can happen. But if i can help it, i will never hurt any body again. There is a certain someone i have put through hell and back in the last 6 weeks, he didnt deserve it after everything he did for me. Im sorry. Because of you, im going to make it my number one priority to never hurt anyone of great meaning to me again.